Fate2010

Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I'm not a religious person in the typical sense. I'm not Christian...I don't "Bible"...but I do believe in fate and signs and alternate meanings in things. I try to read what fate is telling to do and where it wants me to go. Sometimes I'm dead on and other times dead wrong. Let me just share the last few days with you and perhaps you can read into my fate as well.
As I said before, I was invited to my company's All Staff - which I also heard referred to as "Some Staff" (since they cut back on invites due to size of the company - too funny!). Only program managers (PMs) were expected to be invited to the event and I somehow got on the list!!! My PM asked me to help our marketing team put together a portion of their slide show for the All Staff meeting. I created a couple of slides describing how our field staff approaches our events. As terrifying of a thought getting up in front of my entire company and giving a speech is - I knew that if the speech went well it will put me in a better position...more in the forefront of everyone's brain and perhaps open up doors for me with other programs. The speech went great. Although I couldn't tell you what exactly I said and how I said it (I think I blacked out a little bit) I know that people seemed engaged with what I had to say. I was approached by other employees (higher, much higher up employees) thanking me for giving them insight into what our field staff experiences.
Prior to standing up for the events portion of the speech, I was also given the HONOR of being named the Volunteer of the Year and received recognition for all the hard work that Mark, the kids and I have done for our community. In addition to this honor, I was named the Community Service Team leader and am now going to play a greater role in our company's impact on the environment and in all communities that our company has representation. I am extremely excited about this.
However, I felt a little like All Staff was turning into the "Shelby Show" :-) It felt good to be recognized on both a personal and professional level. I feel good...I feel confident...I love my job. I know that some people have found our restructuring challenging - but I understand that with growth like this there is bound to be great changes and being across the country in the field shields me from much of the challenging part of the restructure. I feel like greater things are on my horizon and to quote an email I received, I feel like I "definitely made yourself known this week in Portland."
In addition to all the wonderful strides in the workplace - I was able to meet up with two of my favorite people. My girl who helped my connect with my company in the first place and another girl I went to high school with and haven't seen in 14 years! It was great to spend time in Portland, drinking, fooding, laughing, farmer's marketing, laughing, laughing, laughing...I wish Mark could come out to Portland with me though - just the two of us - so I can expose him to that part of my world.
So after all that...here is where some of the fate part comes in...prior to going out to Portland there was talk about a potential program in upstate NY. Which would be great! But Florida would be better - any where south would be better. So the first conversation I have - a potential new program...in Florida!!! On that same day, the high temperature was the same in Dayton as it was...in Florida (Mark is tracking temps with his class). On that same day, I received my new credit card...the first step in building my credit to potentially buying our farm (...in Florida???).
It is less than 8 weeks until Mark's graduation! Less...than...eight...weeks!
Wheels are turning faster now.
Oh! I forgot!!! I checked the garden after being gone for a handful of days...blueberry and strawberry blossoms galore, green pepper starts, more watermelon and cucumber starts. Oh!!!! BABY!!!! It is looking good out there.

Dayton...We have Vegetables

This are really starting to blossom and bloom and grow around here. Our potted plants have made it through the winter and we only lost one blueberry plant (which I think was pretty dead when we bought on super-duper, end of the year clearance). Onions are in the ground and seem to be poking up. Our process of bringing our seeds outside for their daily visitation with the sun and then inside at night away from Mr. Frost seems to be working! We already have little babies popping up through the soil...cherry and regular tomatoes, an eggplant, a bunch of daisy plants and a couple watermelon plants! I'm hoping that this means something good for this year. OH! and the neighbor kids - I think my plan of keeping them involved really is working. I've had them help me water some of the plants and they are taking some ownership and actually wanting to learn about the whole process. I love it!

PDX bound

Finally! There was one...one beautiful daffodil. I love love love daffodils but for one reason or another have never grown any. I remember when I was young, still living in upstate New York young, there were a bunch of daffodils that would wake up and let us know that it was spring each and every year. As you can imagine, upstate New York winters aren't too good on the soul and those beautiful yellow blossoms popping up in our hedge row were always just what I needed.
This place eats at my soul too...this apartment is a nightmare - I hate apartment living and hope it doesn't have to go on much longer. We are doing what we can to brighten our world...including planting a garden that we know may lead to more frustration with neighborhood kids and animals causing damage...it's not their fault...it's the fault of their parents who don't understand that it is their job to teach respect and manners. I'm hoping that our patience will show these children that there is more to life than what they know...that there is beauty to be respected...that a flower left on the plant stays beautiful MUCH longer than the one picked.
I have an important (hopefully) trip coming soon and I couldn't be more excited. In less than two weeks I will be going to where my corporate offices are located for an "all staff meeting"...funny thing is that this year, for all staff...only program managers have been invited to actually come out to the corporate offices...program managers and me! How freaking sweet is that!? I'm hoping this means that (potentially) REALLY good things are on my horizon. Our horizon. It could mean nothing...but it could mean everything. To top things off...I get to spend time with one of my favorite chicks in the whole world! ...and maybe one of my other favorite chicks from high school (haven't seen this one in many moons...so many that she is a mama to two that I have never met!). Hoping just to chill with them for a bit and exhale...while holding my breath a bit on the professional side of my world.
First, there was one beautiful daffodil and now there are two!

Anxious

We can feel it...this new sense of anxiety. Mark and I both have that feeling of "I forgot something" or at least that's what we thought we were feeling...but we've now realized that we are both feeling change on the horizon. Mark graduates in 93 days (yes people...we are in double digits)! This alone is a sign of good things to come. The incredible amount of work and sacrifice that we have put into this life will (hopefully) start paying off soon.
We don't like our apartment...it was a good place for us (read: cheap place for us) while Mark was finishing school - but we want more now! We are emotionally ready for the homestead that we desire...I just don't know if we are financially ready. I KNOW we can afford it -just don't know if any bank will believe us right now :-)
I wish we had a plan...it's difficult for us not to be able to make full plans. We are both such planners. That feeling of changes in the near future is making us debate setting up a garden for this year...WHAT!?!?! That's right - I mean part of me says that we should just deal with our already potted plants (...all of our berries etc.) and that is it. Another part of me says we should do other potted plants to add to our collection and just move all the pots with us. Another part of me says we should just move forward with planting the garden and should we move then we can donate the garden to another family in our building (someone that could REALLY use the free veggies). I don't know - but I DO know that I hate this in limbo feeling that we have.

In other news - the snow is mostly off the ground...you can still see signs of it - where there used to be big piles is now more like little nuggets of snow (mostly dirty gray/black snow)...I'm seeing green things popping up in our garden out in front of the apartment. It makes me want to go through and clean up and pretty up that area - but time seems to be working against us as usual. I need spring.

Mark and I got away this past weekend - that's right...for an ENTIRE weekend...WITHOUT the kids. It was incredible. We stayed at a place called the Inn at Honey Run - in their honeycombs. The air was so crisp there - it was so quiet. We were in northeast Ohio, in Amish country, amongst rolling hills and beautiful farms. I scheduled a couples massages for us on Saturday and when I woke myself up with a snorty snore and could hear Mark sawing logs right along side of me...I knew this was exactly what we needed. It makes us realize just how much we love our life (good times and bad), our children (when they are angels and devils) and each other (...forever).

Mo Money

Does anyone know how good it feels to have paid all the necessary bills (meaning: rent, utilities, credit card payments, students loans...but not including extra bills like random medical bills etc.) and STILL have money left over? We've been a one income family for soooo long - raising five children with one or both of us going to school to finish our degrees. For the past 14 years money has been a constant struggling point for us. Always. But, with this paycheck we are...ahead! I hate to even say something because I know that the money Gods are listening to me and are now going to through a wrench into any plans that I have, perhaps a car will break down or something but I just have to say that I feel an incredible amount of relief right now. We've paid all of our bills and have enough to go grocery shopping, get gas, and will still have enough money to buy some clothes (which I need desperately) and maybe even buy a few fun items (cross off some wish list things). Oh! Did I mention that we also paid off what we owed to my mother, Mark's grandmother and our oldest daughter AND we were able to give Tiff a couple hundred extra to fix her car (What!? We were able to help someone else for once!).
I just got back from a work trip LATE on Tuesday night. I still can't seem to catch up on sleep. I am exhausted. But I think it is awesome to be able to help other programs get up and running. This weekend is going to be a crazy busy hectic - HOME SHOW filled weekend. Lots of talking to people - lots of light bulb pushing! I'm excited and yet - I know I will be even more exhausted by the time the weekend is over.
So Tuesday was Marky's birthday...he's 46. I think he feels a little funny about that number. But I think he is amazingly handsome and sexy...I'm lucky that he chose me...I love him forever...I couldn't imagine sharing this life with anyone else. He is my very best friend.

Where will fate take us?

It's 145 days until Mark graduates...145 days! If you only knew how long of a process this has been. I mean, Mark has only been going 6 years (not bad if you think that most people do it in 5 years and we've moved to Florida and back, had babies etc.) but school has just been such a big deciding factor in our lives...I am incredibly proud of Mark for sticking with school and not giving up. He's an amazing father and I cannot wait to see him teach his very own classroom full of children. He's trying to figure out ways to integrate "green" lessons with science and math - imagine children cooking their afternoon snack in solar ovens that they made by hand! ...and I am so excited to be even the slightest part of all this.
We've been thinking about the garden a lot lately...my girl in Portland has hers already planned out...but (as usual) life has been crazy busy and I haven't had the chance to complete my excel sheet (maybe today?) - that's right people, I use an excel spreadsheet to layout my garden. Mark refers to me as "planner girl" - I HAVE to have a plan. I want the garden to be both pretty and functional and couldn't stand to look at it if my tomato plants were planted all haphazard throughout the garden...Last year, we built the trellis for the beans and cucumbers out of gathered sticks - this year I think we will do more of the same...but want to make sure that they are done earlier in the season. We'll share spreadsheets and pictures when we have them ready. Right now, our garden is sleeping soundly with a layer of leaves on top. Our potted plants are looking pretty sad - but I'm hoping that they will spring back to life come late March, early April...I've never done the container garden and am hoping that these wintry, cold, snowy days haven't affected my blackberries, raspberries, strawberries and blueberries. I'm thinking of getting a couple of small fruit trees to start in pots and then by the time we have our home - we can plant them in the ground and enjoy the fruit. Fresh apple pie anyone?
So here's a question - if you could live any where you REALLY wanted to...where would it be. Think of it though - think of all the things that you need to consider...could you find work, is a local university important to you (to further your degree or just take some classes), what is the climate that you prefer, could you AFFORD the housing there? That is where we are at right now. The program where I work will not be around forever...perhaps it will last until the end of this year - or maybe squeeze another year out of it and then...who knows? So what does that mean for my career? I absolutely love what I do - I love the interaction with people, I love the flexibility, I have a great boss - I'd want to stay with the company as long as they have a position available...but where IS that position? Could there be another move in our future? We talked with the family last night and all came to the conclusion that Ohio really isn't what we thought it would be. I guess we had a case of the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. We felt drawn to Florida originally because we are all water people - we love to dig our toes in the sand. However, when we came home for a visit - we felt drawn back to Ohio to be near family and have the four seasons. We know that fate brought us to Florida and back to Ohio - we are here for a reason. Soon we will have the opportunity to move on (if we choose) and frankly being here in Ohio (to reference Big Fish) we are all "drying out". Everyone is open to moving - we never know how the kids will react to something like this - but they all seem up for the adventure. So where will fate bring us next? Still in Ohio - just outside of where we are now? We know that this city doesn't have the land we would need to do what we want...We'd have to be pretty far north or east of where we are. North Carolina? South Carolina? Georgia coast? Florida panhandle? Oregon? (ok...Oregon might be a little far...but if that is where fate is telling us - then we will follow) - We do feel that the next move will be the last. We see us buying the home/barn of our dreams, filling our pantry with foods from our land, building/rehabbing to fit our needs/wants, having amazing indoor and outdoor spaces for us to enjoy.
I feel like we talk about fate a lot. For us...that IS our religion. We don't believe in the Bible or the typical "Christian God" - but we do believe that there is a plan out there. We are supposed to be in certain places at certain times and cross paths with certain people - every moment is one to learn from, to grow from. I have a tattoo on my arm - it is Sanskrit for "Everything Happens For a Reason" - we very much believe this. I have the tattoo - because when times are tough, it's not always easy to remember that - that moment is happening FOR A REASON. Looking at my wrist has gotten me through some really tough times in the past.
....hmmm so where WILL fate take us?

It starts...

Ok, so I don't know why, but I've been avoiding the blog thing for a while. I think it is a good idea - I think it is important for us to document our transition from suburban, apartment life to farm living...but I haven't really been in a writing mood...but here it goes.
We are Mark and Shelby - we've been married for 13 years and we have five children. Four kids live with us (Gage, Drake, Kait and Cora) and our oldest daughter, Tiff, lives on her own. I work for a company that develops energy efficiency programs for utility companies and Mark is going to school to finish his degree in education. In June of 2010 Mark will be graduating and we can FINALLY truly start life. I know many of you are thinking 13 years of marraige and 5 kids and life hasn't started yet?? Our life has been dictated by school - my degree and now Mark's. It will be nice to have two incomes (something we had only for a brief moment in our relationship), a regular work schedule and an idea of where we want to live the rest of our lives. The idea of a farm excites us. With everything going on with the economy...it scares us to think that something could happen to our food supply. It scares us to think about what is being put into our food, how foods are processed, how animals are cared for - what is really going on with our food before it goes onto our plates and how does that affect our health and the health of our children? The thought of being able to raise our own chickens for eggs and bees for honey and goats for milk excites us. Knowing that we can feed our family from the foods that we grow with our own hands excites us. Taking all that we learn and "paying it forward" to others - so they can learn new skills excites us...This is a great time in our lives and we're glad you are along for the ride.