Thursday, March 11, 2010

Anxious

We can feel it...this new sense of anxiety. Mark and I both have that feeling of "I forgot something" or at least that's what we thought we were feeling...but we've now realized that we are both feeling change on the horizon. Mark graduates in 93 days (yes people...we are in double digits)! This alone is a sign of good things to come. The incredible amount of work and sacrifice that we have put into this life will (hopefully) start paying off soon.
We don't like our apartment...it was a good place for us (read: cheap place for us) while Mark was finishing school - but we want more now! We are emotionally ready for the homestead that we desire...I just don't know if we are financially ready. I KNOW we can afford it -just don't know if any bank will believe us right now :-)
I wish we had a plan...it's difficult for us not to be able to make full plans. We are both such planners. That feeling of changes in the near future is making us debate setting up a garden for this year...WHAT!?!?! That's right - I mean part of me says that we should just deal with our already potted plants (...all of our berries etc.) and that is it. Another part of me says we should do other potted plants to add to our collection and just move all the pots with us. Another part of me says we should just move forward with planting the garden and should we move then we can donate the garden to another family in our building (someone that could REALLY use the free veggies). I don't know - but I DO know that I hate this in limbo feeling that we have.

In other news - the snow is mostly off the ground...you can still see signs of it - where there used to be big piles is now more like little nuggets of snow (mostly dirty gray/black snow)...I'm seeing green things popping up in our garden out in front of the apartment. It makes me want to go through and clean up and pretty up that area - but time seems to be working against us as usual. I need spring.

Mark and I got away this past weekend - that's right...for an ENTIRE weekend...WITHOUT the kids. It was incredible. We stayed at a place called the Inn at Honey Run - in their honeycombs. The air was so crisp there - it was so quiet. We were in northeast Ohio, in Amish country, amongst rolling hills and beautiful farms. I scheduled a couples massages for us on Saturday and when I woke myself up with a snorty snore and could hear Mark sawing logs right along side of me...I knew this was exactly what we needed. It makes us realize just how much we love our life (good times and bad), our children (when they are angels and devils) and each other (...forever).