We have a swirl of emotions in our house this week. We went to our first official open house on Saturday. A beautiful old, powder blue farm house. A home that while we toured the inside, our children, even the youngest, felt comfortable wandering the grounds and playing tag and using fallen tree branches as swords. Tall ceilings, original woodwork and pocket doors lead us through the stone cellar, four bedrooms, updated kitchen and grandiose dining room. A gorgeous home. The down side...it's only on 1.3 acres. We'd like more...we'd like 5...hell, we want as many as we can possibly get. But we can see how we can make it work. We envisioned how we'd layout our trees and where we could put our garden...We'll see...
Also on Saturday, came great sadness. A young couple that we know lost their baby. The baby was born with the cord wrapped several times around his neck and was lifeless. I've lost two babies. Fortunately for me it was very early on. I think that sounds a little heartless...but I had just found out that I was pregnant and had barely gotten used to the idea of a baby growing in my belly. I couldn't imagine growing that baby for nine months, feeling the kicks, growing more and more attached...more and more in love each day and have it taken away before we even got the chance to meet.
Then, Tuesday came. One of my co-workers called to say that one of our other co-workers had unexpectedly passed away. This man was young, had children (a daughter and son), was the life of the party - hell, he was the life of life. I had the opportunity to get to know Dave as a client, prior to becoming his co-worker. He was a strong reason I sought out my current position. An aneurysm took his life.
...and now, I'm sick. Which seems so insignificant compared to everything else. But it is a bad sick. Everything is hurting...my sinuses are filled...my eyes sting.
I'm hoping for a do-over.
But to lighten the mood of my day...and this post...we received all of our seeds today from Victory Seeds. The mailman delivered them to our door. I can't wait to sow the seeds. I can't wait to have dirt under my nails. I can't wait to eat our veggies. I just can't wait.
18 hours ago