Today was a good day.

We had so much fun today at the farm - the alpacas were super cute. They had an activity for the kids, a shop area with goods from all different women (photos, finished yarn projects and raw fiber). I was able to snag a bunch of misc. fiber balls in various colors - I'm going to try my hand at spinning my own yarn. We are debating getting a couple of sheep and/or a couple alpacas for the farm - but it doesn't make sense for us to do that if I don't like to spin. SO - I got some stuff to play with for a bit. We'll see! They had three different women there with various skills - one woman was on a loom making rugs, another spinning on a wheel (which is fascinating to watch) and the third was weaving on a tri-loom (a loom shaped like a triangle to create shawls and the like on).
Another great part of the day...when we were on our way to the farm, right in our neighborhood, we found the garage deals of the century! As we were driving past, Mark says "hey, I think that's a water bath canner" (yes! I love my man) - I jumped out and Mark was absolutely right! It was not JUST a canner - but a canner with the wire rack - for $4!!!!! FOUR DOLLARS! I doubt that it has even been used! I also found a blue and white pitcher and wash bowl for $5 and a serving bowl for $.75!! I couldn't believe it! All that for less than $10. SCORE!!!

Today was a good day.

Alpaca Farm!

I'm going to an Alpaca Farm today! I'm going to an Alpaca Farm today! I'm going to an Alpaca Farm todaaaayyyyyyyyy! WOOT! Stewart Heritage Farm is hosting an open house, for people to learn about raising Alpacas and how to use their fiber. They are going to have a live bluegrass/rockabilly band playing, activities for the kids and merchants selling alpaca oriented goods. I'm excited! Mark, the kids, our friend's daughter and I are all going together - so it should be a good time.

Just one fix...

...And because it breaks my heart to see the previous post as my "current post" - I'm going to put something on a lighter note.

I got some of my farm fix this week...Mark has been working all week with a group of 4-5 year old kids at Aullwood, for their "Farm Babies" program. Since a lot of my work this week required me to be in this area - I've been spending my lunch hours snuggling with pigs, goats, a baby cow, some sheep, a bunch of chickens and being in awe of their garden. Their sunflowers reach high above my head...they let us come home today with a green pepper, a handful of tomatoes and a couple of carrots. I LOVE LOVE farm fresh food and I love sharing our garden and others sharing with us. I can't wait until we have our garden and can teach our children the importance of growing enough to share with family, friends, neighbors and strangers.

Love the way you lie...

There is a new song out that really gets to me. When it comes on, I can't seem to bring myself to change the channel, but when it's over I always have tears in my eyes. The song is by Eminem, with the help of Rihanna. It's about the pattern of an abusive relationship - loving with such passion that you could never imagine hurting that person...but it's that same passion that causes you to do terrible, unimaginable, things. I was in a relationship like this once. It never got to the point that I was physically broken, hospitalized or otherwise...but I was thrown down stairs, shaken to the point that you could see handprints in my upper arms. My spirit was very broken...and, at times, still is. I don't think this is something that you can ever "get past". I use that experience to grow from. From this, I knew that a man like Mark was the person I needed to be with - someone who knew when to call my bullshit, but would never hurt me on that level. From this, I know how to protect my girls from monsters like the one I was with (hilarious, life of the party with a nasty, abusive streak). From this, I feel like I'm never "good enough"...but hope that one day I'll realize that I am.

Love the way you lie....
Eminem/Rihanna
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint
And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she f**kin' hates me
And I love it, "wait, where you goin'?"
"I'm leavin' you," "no you ain't come back"
We're runnin' right back, here we go again
So insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great
I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Whose that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get em
Now you're getting f**kin' sick of lookin' at em
You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em
Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em
You push pull each other's hair
Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em
So lost in the moments when you're in em
It's the face that's the culprit, controls you both
So they say it's best to go your seperate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over
But you promised her next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time there won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar if she ever tries to f**kin' leave again
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

Come on! Let's do this already!!!!

Score

Score ONE for the non-ghettoans (is that a word?)!! So here's the deal - this morning I had Drake take out our dog...with her leash, in a polite manner, conscious of our neighbors. As he was coming in, I hear him say "No! Go!" and he was talking to one of the pitbulls down the building! So I marched outside and there sat the owner of the dog. I said "you need to have your dog on a leash" - he said, "I just got up, I'm out here smoking a cigarette so I don't smoke around my kids"...I said "you need to either take the dog inside or put it on a leash or I'm calling the police". So there he sat...he said "you just gonna stand there? I'm getting ready to go to work", I explained that I was already "at work" (since I work from home) and that I was going to just go ahead and call the police since he obviously was not getting the leash. So in I went and I immediately called the police...they sent animal control out and unfortunately her hands are tied unless she witnesses the dog out/off leash but that she was able to give warnings and information about the laws of the State of Ohio pertaining to dogs (and specific to "vicious breeds") - we discussed the two neighbors that continually have their dogs off leash (the one this morning has a pitpull mix and the ones across the hall from them have one pitbull/ridgeback mix and one little dog). And then...as if the Gods were looking out for us...as I was talking to ANIMAL CONTROL the two dogs came bounding across the front lawn...unleashed!!! PRICELESS!!!!!!! They went right over to another neighbor who had her dog on a leash and got all tangled up with her - oh! It was poetry in motion...I couldn't have orchestrated anything better than that. The animal control officer walked out the door and immediately spoke to our neighbor - he lied to her and told her that they just got the little dog and that is why they didn't have a tag (they've had that dog for more than a year)...but he did have a tag for the pitbull mix - she explained the laws, told him that they needed to be on a leash, told him that the pitbull mix is listed as a vicious breed and that within 30 days they need to have an insurance bond on her or else they would not be able to keep the dog and they needed to get a license for the other dog. Oh! Sweet victory! I gotta say that I do fear the backlash from this....but for now...SCORE!

BTW - I'm not a dog hater...I LOVE all animals but these animals aren't treated properly...owners get them because they want to be cool pitbull owners - if were respectful of their animals and their neighbors, if they took the time to train their animals to stay with them and not shred gardens, knock over other animals and people - we'd have no issues.

Mark

Mark is working this week, half days at Aullwood Farm/Audubon Center in Englewood. His class is 10 - 4/5 year old kids and he is teaching about farm babies and their life on the farm. Too cute! At the end of the week they do some type of performance/song/activity to show the rest of classes what they learned - so Mark is having the kids do the Chicken Dance. Too Cuter!
I miss Mark when he's gone. I get used to him being here. Sometimes when I go to work he tags along (which I love). He's my very best friend, he's intelligent, he's a dreamer, we're very much the same, but very much different and he's the most handsome man I've ever seen. While we were camping we celebrated 14 years of marriage (we've been together for nearly 15 years). In that time we've had three children together, gained custody of his two daughters, moved from the Culver house to Fox Hunt, back to the Culver house, to the beaches of Florida, to my parents house and to here (the ghetto), we've gone to college and both have graduated, we've worked at different companies, saw many people join or be born into our families and we lost too many people, life has been a struggle for us at times but we have always faced the challenges head on and learned from those experiences. I look forward to the day when we are relaxing on our porch with a glass of sun tea and I'm kicking Mark's booty in scrabble.