Friday, July 30, 2010

Love the way you lie...

There is a new song out that really gets to me. When it comes on, I can't seem to bring myself to change the channel, but when it's over I always have tears in my eyes. The song is by Eminem, with the help of Rihanna. It's about the pattern of an abusive relationship - loving with such passion that you could never imagine hurting that person...but it's that same passion that causes you to do terrible, unimaginable, things. I was in a relationship like this once. It never got to the point that I was physically broken, hospitalized or otherwise...but I was thrown down stairs, shaken to the point that you could see handprints in my upper arms. My spirit was very broken...and, at times, still is. I don't think this is something that you can ever "get past". I use that experience to grow from. From this, I knew that a man like Mark was the person I needed to be with - someone who knew when to call my bullshit, but would never hurt me on that level. From this, I know how to protect my girls from monsters like the one I was with (hilarious, life of the party with a nasty, abusive streak). From this, I feel like I'm never "good enough"...but hope that one day I'll realize that I am.

Love the way you lie....
Eminem/Rihanna
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint
And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she f**kin' hates me
And I love it, "wait, where you goin'?"
"I'm leavin' you," "no you ain't come back"
We're runnin' right back, here we go again
So insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great
I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Whose that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get em
Now you're getting f**kin' sick of lookin' at em
You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em
Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em
You push pull each other's hair
Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em
So lost in the moments when you're in em
It's the face that's the culprit, controls you both
So they say it's best to go your seperate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over
But you promised her next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time there won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar if she ever tries to f**kin' leave again
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

3 comments:

  1. You are amazing
    You are beautiful
    You are incredible
    You are smart
    You are caring
    You are sexy

    I'm sorry that people mistreated you
    and abused you
    And I'm sorry that I'm not always the man that I should be
    but I Love You
    and you're awesome
    and we're awesome!

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  2. i'm going to challenge a bit of this, as i'm betting this isn't how you meant it to be interpreted...

    there is no such thing as loving someone so much that they do something awful, because it categorically goes against what love is. i don't think the feelings that go with abuse are in any way, shape or form related to love and i see so many girls say 'he loved me too much', when in fact it never ever was love at all. what is so hard for many women (and men) who have been victims is to believe is that person never truly loved them, because i truly and deeply believe that a person who will lay a hand on another has no concept of what love truly is.

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  3. The abuse wasn't a show of affection...but an extreme reaction to anger, frustration and rage that would come from our arguments. Love passionately, fight passionately etc.
    I can't imagine that in spending five years with someone that there was never any amount of love from him...I felt it - to quote Eminem again "when it's goin' good it's goin' great"...I believe that he loved me then - but didn't have a clue how to handle what that meant. Not everyone understands how to nurture that emotion.

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