Thursday, January 20, 2011
Anxiety...my life is filled with constant motion and sound...with a full time job, five children (two in elementary school, one in middle school and two in college - and all the directions they are going), a husband, bills, responsibilities, extended family etc...There is a flow to life that cannot be stopped or interrupted or else everything else...fails. The mornings are sometimes tough for me...I'm not a morning person - I like the night. However, life doesn't always get that. 6:45 the alarm going off and Mark prods me to get out of bed. We shower and that is our calm (ish) before the storm...by the time we are getting dressed we have at least three kids at the bathroom door whining about "how soon are you going to be done"...every morning it is the same response..."soon...give us a minute". The door to the bathroom opens and the rush of - eat your breakfast, mommy did you see this, does this match, just change your clothes, hurry up and eat your breakfast, oh I forgot to have you sign this, do you have your backpack, oh no I forgot to read this book/do this math sheet/I have a test today, look at this trick I learned (balances on one foot and one hand)...mommy, mommy, mommy - ACK! My focus is drawn in so many different directions - when I'm thinking about how desperately I want to crawl back in bed for just another hour. Mark is amazing during this time - he gets the kids going, he makes breakfast and lunch for the kids while I am checking my emails and the bank etc. I appreciate him...probably more than he knows. Some days the level of stress is near the breaking point and then I think how I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I can't imagine the sterile existence that some people live. Without interaction from their children. Without the loud craziness that is my life. Without the stories we share with each other about what we saw, learned, heard that day. Without the constant joking, laughing, loving and yes, sometimes even fighting. Ahhh, anxiety - I live for it! Happy Thursday all!