Monday, June 13, 2011

Things I've Learned

Next month, I will be celebrating my 37th birthday and I've learned a few things about myself and others.
I've learned that I'm a good mama. While there are times that I second guess some of the decisions I've made or actions I've taken, I understand that I did the best that I could in that given moment. It warms my heart that I have five children, including two adult children, that actually like to hang out with me. We can have passionate arguments, along with deep heart-to-heart, interesting conversations and it feels good.
I've learned that Mark is my best friend. That is what truly gets us through the tough times. He is hilariously funny, extremely handsome, an amazing father and the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with.
I've learned that sometimes you will "hit it off" with people and those friendships could last the rest of your life. While it may be months between talking to those people, they will be there in a heartbeat when you need them. Sometimes I will have things to share, others they have things to share and we are genuinely excited for each other. I've also learned that some friendships can be very one sided (to me, not a true friendship). They start a conversation with you with a quick question or two about what is happening in your life and then take over the conversation with what is happening in their own. Instead of give and take...it is yeah yeah yeah and what about ME? I'm a very nurturing person and avoid conflict, so I find it difficult to cut these people out of my life. I have one relationship that it seems that whenever we begin a conversation, I spend most of the conversation "holding on" while they talk to others in the room or they interrupt me while I'm trying to discuss really important things in my life. This is one of the one-side relationships. Another friendship - the person always has to be "winning"...it's always "Oh! I've done that, better, more often, before you did it", "Oh, and did I mention that I know all about everything? Even when I don't" Oy!
I've learned that the goal in life...transitions and morphs into these different and amazing adventures. We aren't afraid to leap.
I've learned that Mark and I aren't the same people we were nearly 16 years ago...we've transitioned and morphed. There are times we've pulled apart, but I'm proud of the fact that we've never given up on each other or this relationship.
I've learned that I'm extremely self conscious. There are days when I am embarrassed about the weight I've put on over the years. However, I know that one day, soon, I will be ready to finally get this weight off and when I do...watch out world.
I've learned that I'm not good with the whole patience thing and I don't like when people try to "teach me patience". (Hello house, I'm talking to you)...
What have you learned?

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