Thursday, August 9, 2012

Frame of mind...

So I've been working on me. I think we get so caught up in life - with all the ups and downs, joys and messes, chores and work...we sometimes forget to focus on ourselves. I have a hard time taking "me" time, or making any purchases for me. Even clothes and shoes - if I think that the kids need something, I'd rather get them a new pair of shoes than me. Under the suggestion of the counselor we've been seeing, I've been keeping a journal of sorts. It's not a's a tool to help focus on the positive things in life. Recently, starting in April, I hit a rough patch in life. It's so easy to focus on the negative, because that is the thing that needed "fixed"...and I forgot about the OH SO MANY positive things that are happening around here and in life.
I have a notebook and, each day, I write down three things that are good/went well and three things that I'm thankful for. It's really helped me remember how awesome so much of my life is. As I read back over this journal, of sorts, a few theme really stick out...
  • My husband, Mark...although we've hit a very rough patch in our relationship, it feels good that we are working through everything. He is working hard to rectify the situation that he created and to make me feel loved. He's doing the right things. He is making me feel special, like I'm his priority and that feels good. We've hit rock bottom and we are still together. He's my very best friend, handsome, hilarious, intelligent, a good man, a great father, an awesome provider (whether he's working outside of the home or completing our huge list of projects here on the farm) and I am absolutely in love with him. 
  • My kids, Tiff, Kait, Gage, Drake and Cora (...and even Kait's boyfriend, David) kids are awesome. So different but similar enough to find a lot of common ground between them. When we get together, we often sit around the kitchen table or in the living room and it's loud and so much laughter and teasing going on. They are all healthy and becoming "good grown ups" (in my role as a mother, if I can be friends with my children as they grow up, that is great - but my goal is to create good grown ups...and with that, many times there are lessons to be learned - good and bad). I'm very proud of al of them.
  • job is truly an awesome job. It offers great benefits, is flexible, makes me feel like I'm changing the world a little bit (I manage an energy efficiency program for a utility company), and I'm thankful that I have it. 
  • Our home...a year and a half ago, if you read far enough back in this journey, you'll know the struggle we had to find and purchase this home. I'm so proud that we were able to, after all these years, become home owners...and not just to any home...a 130 year old farm house, with a wrap around porch, 4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, a living room AND a parlor, a dining room large enough to seat 20+ people for a sit down meal, comfortably, on 1.3 acres.
  • The farm...I love this place...separate from the home, our barn and animals give me so much happiness (and stress..Ahem...talking to you Steve and Itty...but mostly the happiness thing)...but I love to walk out to the barn and call their names and hear the roar of Baaas and Maas that come from our crew of animals. It makes me laugh, every, single time. I'll have to see if I can get a recording of that.
Honestly, I'm a very lucky lady and I'm very thankful for that.


  1. I love this post :) We're living such a different life than we were just a short couple years ago! You are amazing and we have many amazing years ahead of us here. I love you!

  2. Great Post - Im am SOOOO in the same situation with marriage etc. throw in the autism. I think a journal of sorts would also help me, so thanks for the idea. We've been to counsellors as well but we get to a certain point of someone having to deal with a few things and then the counsellor (of course) doesnt know anything and is a waste of time. LOL You hear me!!! So Yes, I think, from reading your blog, that you have much to be thankful for.

  3. I definitely hear you LOL - I think that the "good things journal" is a really good idea. I feel myself coming out of my funk and it feels good. Keep with don't have control over others behaviors, but you do have control over your own and your own health :-)
    I promise, if there is going to be a lull in posts, I will tell you in advance :-)